My husband with our daughter as a baby. She was born 7 weeks premature, and weighing only 1.1 kg. They continue to have a close bond.
I am fortunate that most weekends we spend quality time as a family, cooking and creating together. My husband has also always been very hands on in raising our daughter and they both have a very close and special bond.
Whilst it is nice to be acknowledged and to feel extra special I wonder why it has to be just one day a year.
But my childhood was far from the life we are creating for our daughter. As a child growing up Father’s Day was always challenging for me as my parents were divorced and my father was predominantly absent. I saw many of my friends celebrate with their fathers and I felt very left out. Although, I was close to my grandfather and had three protective older brothers it just wasn’t the same as having an involved father. Single parenting can be so challenging and I salute all the single mums and dads raising their kids together or on their own. I know first hand, growing up with a single mother, how challenging this can be, but there is a silver lining: this experience has also made me a strong and resilient person, and I can cope well with difficult situations.
Before my wedding nearly 12 years ago I rang my father and I forgave him. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him for years. He actually walked me down the aisle, something I never thought would be my experience. For me to move on, I felt it was more important that I forgave him than hold onto feeling hurt and angry. Forgiveness is a very deep act and can be life changing in its freedom and power. I am now open and friendly with my father, and we are in contact quite frequently. He is also a much more attentive grandfather with my daughter, so she feels loved and valued.
With my father, Gordon, just before the ceremony on my wedding day.
What happens to us as children certainly contributes to our life story, but it does not need to define who we are as adults. This is our story to complete. What I do know and cherish from my childhood was my ability to draw, make art and channel my emotions into creative projects. Interestingly I now work predominantly with children of divorce, helping them to express their emotions through art, and hopefully lay the foundations for a better life as they mature.
And of course there are many amazing fathers out there. I especially love creative dads Jason Lee and Dave Engledow who use satire and comedy in their photographic work. I also admire the work and business created by artist and stay home dad Joel Henriques from Made By Joel.
Creative dad Dave Engledow, from his photographic series with his daughter Alice Bee.
Humour can certainly be a powerful and engaging way to tackle and celebrate life’s challenges and successes. We have some fun events coming up in the Mama Creatives calendar, especially our Christmas Bash with writer and social commentator Kerri Sackville. It should be a very entertaining night out, hope to see you there.